"We are preprogrammed to take correction from those who love us deeply; though our conscious minds can be deceived, our entire being cannot. Thus, to give me tough love you have to love me with your very soul, otherwise I will run, strike out, bite. Yet, if I see the courage of a soldier within you, one who is resolved to stay through the roughness of the challenges we face, then your tough love will be the thing that keeps me on the rails, heading home, full speed.
Tough love for children is wrong, for they are sad rather than bad. Their behaviour is communication and they need dependable and unconditional love. They need adults to be eye of their storms, quiet and still, refuge and safety. Tough love is for when love enables a person to stay somewhere harmful, in a toxic relationship or abusive home - it can be the slap to bring a realisation of where they are, yet it can only come from one who truly loves them, one who would walk with them through hell and back for only the reward of keeping them safe. It is not a thing to be wielded by the cold hearted, for the true intention will always shine through.
It is right that we love in an open way, always giving unconditionally. Yet my lovely, you are in the grip of an abusive relationship and you've become deaf to the advice of those who hold you as treasure. The only way I can help you is to walk away, to let this relationship ruin you utterly, for only then will I be able to save you, to pick up the shards of what is left and rebuild a beautiful man. If it could be any other way I'd take it, bring softness and light... if only you could see this from the perspective of one who loves you...
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