I sent the SOS through the inter-dimensional exchange a while ago, years in Earth time. They should be arriving any minute.
"Only fools are scared of spirits. In this place we are the paranormal exchange, a sort of telephone exchange for those who wish to talk to the living. But we weed out those of ill-intent, revenge is for idiots. They need to let it go and move on. What we do here is speak with the spirits that wish to love and guide humanity into better ways of living. So, first thing is first, newbie. Learn about the love-nexus, then we'll have you in neuro-linguistics programming classes and the art of speaking in metaphors and visual puns... then we'll get you on the ground floor. All good, right. Best of luck. Toodles."
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