"Alba, when your inner good wolf is the boss of your inner bad wolf, you will become a hero greater than you ever dreamed possible. Yet that kind of courage is earned every day through humble, giving, selfless, love. When you have done that, you will have a very different kind of ego from the one you have seen in others. The good wolf self "ego" is flexible and seeks to lift others up, to see them become masters greater even than yourself. Value yourself enough to take on this struggle. Mature. Gain self control. Be a role model of love. Learn that ego transforms into solid self respect."
In this great mirror of our existence self respect is a needed part of respecting others. If we love them, if we want them to grow, then we must live in ways that respect ourselves, giving them the greatest chance possible to do the same.
I want to inspect my respect. I want to see that the actions I choose are bringing that sense of self worth. Am I choosing for myself what I would choose for one I loved more than myself? Am I giving myself space to grow into the sort of human being that is being human? Because a part of being "we" is being a healthy "I" and having both generosity and self respect. To know that the hero must be healthy to save others.
Self respect is having time for your own beautiful ideas, memories and dreams. Self respect is honouring yourself enough to believe in those passions and see that you need them, that you need to pursue them to be the person you were born to develop into. Self respect is allowing yourself to mature and change, to grow into new perspectives and be comfortable enough in your own skin to allow your creativity to have the chaos it needs to be strong and the focus it needs to move in a positive direction. It is a state of being that respects these rights in others, that takes to heart that only they can see their path as only we can see ours, and that this sort of respect is a fundamental key to being human and living together. That this is part of liberty, that order comes from divine chaos, and all that requires self respect.
Self respect has been a long time coming. Perhaps I was waiting for another to grant it to me, to see that I was respected so that I could mirror it back. Perhaps because my trust was so shattered I wasn't respecting others, and so they could not mirror it back. But I think the reason is more that I was respected, that I was respecting others, yet it only settled at the superficial level, at the mask of coping with society. I think that's what happens when you get the message that to a great many people you are meat instead of a person with intelligence and soul to meet. For without full trust, how can we accept the love of others, trust is foundational to love. I think the real path out of the mess, the way back to self respect, or to discover it for the first time, was to trust myself and rely on myself. I know that in this era the rugged individual is critiqued for not being a team player, but it's not so simple. By being self sufficient you learn self reliance, and self trust. You become your own back up plan rather than relying on others. Then, from this tiny seed of trust of the self, comes respect of the self. From there you can love yourself, from there you can start to have real friendships, real relationships and become a person who can thrive in a community, one who helps others. So this is the irony I lived... that to have proper relationships again, the route is via a solitude that isn't easy at all, something that's tough to survive. Then, when you have it, that holy grail of independence, you then need the strength to give it all up in the name of love and choose vulnerability again... removing your armour.
Keep track of your favorite writers on Descriptionari
We won't spam your account. Set your permissions during sign up or at any time afterward.