Sometimes I wanna lay down some z's, but there is so much to do. Often times there is nobody who can really comprehend the effort it takes to do even a fraction of what I'm expected to achieve. So those jibes of "lazy," they sting a bit. I'm learning to let it slide when I can, have some self respect. After all, I realise the effort all this takes, I walk in these shoes.
When anxiety scatters the thoughts it can look the same as idleness, yet it can be struggle enough to marshal the thoughts into some kind of order, then there is the effort on top of that of getting things done, and will power in the brain is a finite resource because it consumes energy. It's a workout. That's why I believe so much in building good routine, the less you have to think about, the sooner health and personal organisation returns. It's a sort of virtuous cycle, the more you achieve the easier it becomes to achieve more. In time you have yourself all together and are ready to really motor. Lazy is a symptom, that's all, just find your cause.
I'm lazy when I'm tired, tired in brain or body, it is a function, a form of protection, yet this is reality and there are jobs that need doing and I'm the only one who can get them done. So, lazy feelings or not, I have to at least put a few things in order each day... make a routine of it.
Lazy, procrastination, are signals of poor mental health, and yeah, we live in a toxic culture that doesn't bring out our passions as it could and should. When you have passion and mission, a purpose that drives, lazy evaporates and the "work" becomes an important part of the self and identity. So, for now, challenging as it is, you are the only one that can find your own pathway to success. Find your spark and you'll be cured, promise.
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