There was a happiness to her, not the kind that is loud and obvious, but more as early morning birdsong.
Happy arrived on spring day; I felt as if an old friend had come back, and that old friend was me.
For me, emotions are spectrums rather than absolutes, or destinations. As such I see a range from sad, through neutral, to happy that blends. For the most part I exist on the positive side of neutral and let "happier" feelings come as bursts of colour. I enjoy this way of being. It renders me somewhat immune to depression and gives a sort of emotional robustness that provides a steadiness others can co-regulate from. From what I can see, those who see "sad" and "happy" as absolutes are forever destined to oscillate between the two.
Happy is a way of feeling that comes from within as weaves into nature, into creation, that is gentle and soft. It is thus a gift you learn how to give to yourself.
Happy is as the new spring bud that grows into the flamboyant flower so naturally, one moment at a time.
Find your inner peace first, my love, because feeling happy is a thing that comes afterwards. If you can feel as centred with your eyes open as you so when they are closed, you'll feel a sense of self. Embrace that sense of yourself in quiet moments, sit a while and be still. Let the joys of small things bring a soft happiness, a sense that is akin to gratitude and awe. Then, when you have won that steadiness of the soul, you can help others be happy too.
The birdsong drifts as well as any summertime pollen. It comes as magical as any flute, as improvised as deep south jazz, and as soulful as love's kiss. In that moment I am present, feet still and heart open.
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