Feeling well isn't a high feeling, or a low feeling, I'd say it's a slightly warm flat feeling, as if you're walking a road you could simply stay on forever or choose a different path for the sake of adventure and fun.
I had to learn how to take care of myself, how to deal with my own problems and not lean on anyone, to learn how to fix myself alone after each painful fall, to find the road to real wellness. I guess there's a reason warriors and heroes have parts of their story alone, the part when they psychologically mature into a person others can rely on. The journey is brutal, truly brutal, and so those who make it to the other side, to real wellness, deserve to think of themselves as heroes.
Wellness came when I showed guilt, shame and blame the exit of my house. I learned all I could from those emotions, made all the amends it was possible to make. With those chains broken, I was free to become the kind of hero I've always dreamed of becoming.
There is a place in wellness for emotional indifference. It is the ability to cut off those who are endless hurricanes and bring your full efforts and focus to where you can make the most difference to whom and what you love.
Part of feeling well is exiting the emotional storm, being able to enter into it when I need to show empathy and love for others, but otherwise having my own inner peace, allowing my inner world to become a place of tranquility.
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