How can you remain an interesting partner if you cannot stand alone, if you cannot hang on to the unique qualities they were first attracted to? When you compromise who you are, your core values, only because you want to assimilate, you devalue yourself. It is different from changing because you matured or ;earned a new perspective. So make the most of being single, get to know and love yourself. That way you can really see and appreciate others, cherishing their differences and perspectives rather than seeking to become the same.
In a relationship you are as two pillars standing next to one another, supporting those whom depend on you. And so, being single is a chance to learn how to stand straight and be the kind of lover your future partner deserves. Leaning on one another is for the hard times, not every day.
I'm proud of being single. It time to learn the skills needed, to develop a stronger psychology. I'm more resilient. I can take care of myself. I'm steadier in my emotions. Now I'm ready to take care of another when the universe feels that it is time to bring us together, but until then, I am confident that I'll be just fine.
I'm a person first, a potential partner second, and being able to care for myself is necessary before I care for another. Being comfortable with being single is a positive thing. It means you only become involved with someone you truly love rather than out of some lonely impulse to fill a void. Your own soul can fill that void. Then you can be good company, a good partner.
Being single enabled me to become more true to myself, to resonate more deeply with my loving soul, to feel my own strength, to keep my own opinions and to modify them with confidence when appropriate.
Being single was the biggest challenge. I'd never been alone before. Yet it was made all the harder for the circumstances and the enforced solitude by those who felt so fit to be my judge and jury. Now, I hold my head high as a strong woman who has survived such trauma and come out the other side a good person who lovers herself and others. I can now stand alone. I still wish I didn't have to, but I'm okay with it. Perhaps if I couldn't a part of me would still be restless, unable to feel safe if I needed a man around. Perhaps this truly independent stage is necessary before having a true lover. I hope so. Being alone sucks, but being in a bad relationship is worse, only a good relationship is a real upgrade. Most relationships, heck, most marriages, you can keep 'em. It's love or I'm better off single. I believe that. I do.
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