There's a lot of fire in me. Most of the time I'm the master of it. When I'm triggered though, when I'm angry and sad, it becomes the master of me. I am getting better, but this won't be the last apology. There will be others, but I pray only a few. I do improve. I am very capable of learning and maturing.
Faith and lore are one thing, lived experience is another, and I need that experience with you to be as solid as you already are. My apology is for not being able to do what you can do. My promise is that I will get there. I have triggers to break and make neutral. I can do it. I do that kind of thing all the time. It takes a few mess ups to learn what they are and how to short circuit my head for the better. I'm a pro at it though and you are worth the effort, lover.
I apologise for not believing in you with the same purity that you believed in me; perhaps if you'd allow me to get to know you better, I could.
My apology is for not being better, for not getting here sooner, for not rescuing earlier or with greater strength; all I ask is that you accept that at all times I was doing the very best I could and loving you so very much all the time.
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