She was both the rocks beneath my feet and the gravity when times turned to chaos. In that she was the ultimate warrior. The fear others felt put her into a different mode of being - clearer than usual, more steady, more solid, more dependable and more certain of her direction. She turned from omega to alpha in a flash, changed from nurturer to soldier. I never saw anyone more valiant in battle and it was an honour to serve with her. I'd do it again at any chance, in any lifetime, as any sane person of virtue would.
He was as steady as any gallant stead when troubles came, yet all that took a toll beneath the surface that he sought to heal with solitude. The rocks of this world, they pay for what they give by taking it out of themselves. And so my role in caring for him could not have been more clear, if I wanted to spend time in his company I had to learn how to feed his soul better than time alone ever could.
He was my saint, my steady guy, though to others he was neither one of those. We loved each other. We gave each other what we needed to thrive, to rise above survival and find real joy.
I am steady because I rose above the storm and see it from a distance. I cannot return and feel it as those caught in it do. I miss feeling all those emotions that assured me of my humanity, that drove me to take on my current quest. Yet the ironic thing is that I can only complete the quest from where I am now. The emotions can still break through at times, remind me of what is at stake and how much I must battle for others each day, yet one cannot be a rescuer when one needs rescue.