A mirage is innocent enough unless it promises to be a safety net. If you are real and the other is smoke, if you are there to catch them no matter the personal cost... and they let you fall and shrug at your broken bones, indifferent to your suffering, complaining because you can no longer catch them... then they are a mirage. As painful as it is to see it, it's far less painful than having your bones ground to powder and snorted for their pleasure.
The truth in discovering if you have found a mirage of an oasis is in the touching, of the being reassured that it is real.
Only when you can speak truth to yourself can you have strong loving bonds with others, other wise they are attempting to attach to a mirage.
When so many loving bonds have been mirages, that when tested they vanished rather than sacrifice or struggle in the right ways, it becomes challenging to trust the loving bonds you need to survive, to find happiness and thrive. I'm still going to do it though. There are real oasis's out there. I know that because I am one.