In this isolation, looking at these same concrete walls, I find sweet relief in letting my eyes come softly to a close and allowing myself to dream of flowers.
In isolation it was lonely, yet there is an art to surviving it in the best shape possible. I found that if I could be conscious of my choices and emotions, I could start to ask myself to make more healthy choices for myself and those I love. I could chose to dance to music instead of simply sit, or do some exercise instead of simply sleep. I found that if I baked bread rather than just bought it, it felt as if there was more love in our house - that I had a new hobby and the house had the aroma of a bakery, so homey. Yet in all of that, in the seeking of positivity, it was equally important to acknowledge the lonely feelings, to walk the line between seeing them, feeling them, letting them flood in when necessary, yet then returning to affirmative actions. By learning how to do this, I became a blessing to others and I felt more mature, more self confident. It is challenging though, very challenging, but at times I imagine my super heroes of fiction, Captain America or Wonder Woman, and I let myself try to become a little bit more "super" each day.
In that time of isolation I worked on that rather wonderful Italian concept, "the sweetness of doing nothing," and I'm proud to say that my nap-technique became a thing of beauty.
I have been isolated for sometime now. I can't see friends, nor reach out for help as once I could have. If I'm honest, I had so many panic attacks at first, yet over time they grew further apart and disappeared. I found a new joy in nature, in the little things, revealing in bird song and the simple pleasure of warm sunlight upon the skin. It was so very challenging, yet I grew strong. I can now say I'm so much more psychologically mature, that those brutal times built me into who I am today. It hardly feels that can be true when you're curled up on the bathroom floor with your heart beating a million miles per hour, but with time, with inner reflection, with the art of emptying the thoughts, even if for just a few moments at a time - a new self emerges. In isolation you will feel at times as if you caught on fire, yet after this, regardless of how broken you feel, I promise you that the phoenix stage will from in your headlamps. So keep on driving. Keep being the best version of you for yourself and others. And above all, keep the needs of children first, the are the future of mankind.
For so long we've worried about climate change, and I realise it's still there. Yet in these days of pandemic the planes are on the ground, the cruise ships are docked and many cars will be off the roads. Pointless products and their pollution will stop, as will rampant consumerism. These are dark days, yet if that has been your main worry, you can let that go for a while. You can reconnect to the natural world with a greater sense of peace with mother nature. So, as you isolate, perhaps take up poetry, art, music, dance or sporting interest, take this chance to really learn about yourself and fall in love with who you are within.
We realised that the only way to save maximum lives in the pandemic was to keep social distancing protocols and isolation of the vulnerable in place until the vaccine was ready, however long that took. After all, money is an invented thing, and all the money in the world can't bring back one person. The lost babies and children broke our hearts in ways that would never mend. So it was time to honour life as sacred and choose God's way over money.