To keep my insecurities from messing my new relationship up I needed to lean into discomfort, to tolerate uncomfortable thoughts and let the feelings pass. That way I could respond appropriately rather than reacting inappropriately. I'd been into sport so I knew all about discomfort tolerance, it was then a matter of transferring the skill into my emotional world.
Emotional security is born of daily positive and emotionally supportive interactions with folk who love you. So give it time. Stay with us and that insecurity will fade.
An environment that lacked, for whatever reason, the emotional security human babies are born to need, produces a sense of insecurity. For these daily interactions from layers of networked neurones. That takes time. There are no short cuts. The best you can do is be with the kind of people who will love you for life, who are dependable and kind. You need family. Either the ones you are related to or the ones you find. When you get that. When you have the courage to stick with that for the longterm, insecurity will vanish. You'll erase it.
Our family, our kin, those whom love us are supposed to be our anchors. We all need anchors even as we age. Humans evolved as an interconnected species that needed and protected one another. Yet this money-nexus world puts such things as low priority. It is little wonder we all feel somewhat insecure about ourselves. Consistent loving care from people who will stay in our lives is vital for human health.
I hope in time my love gives you real security, that you come to feel safe in this world. I'm sorry that you came to feel insecure. I'm sorry that those who should have stood by you and protected you were selfish and weak. I'm stronger than they are or ever were. I'll stand by you. I'll reform the trust they shattered. Let it take as long as it takes. I'm here.
My insecurity was rooted in fear of abandonment, so I read about it, learned how to change my behaviours for the better. Growing is painful, but feeling taller is worth it.