Genius is woven into insanity, and so I chose to become a genius instead of one of the crazy. Now, that is clever.
Insanity is a curse in the vast majority of cases, yet you made yours a blessing because you are pure warrior spirit. You really are tough. Be proud of that.
Everything I ever wanted was being taken away, my present, my future, my very essence of me. Of course I fought to win, to become sane again. I was always the girl who got up after every fall, always ready to go again full power, ask anyone. Crying was never on my list of options, winning was.
Beating insanity, that's a first in all of humanity. The genius you gained from it, that is the prize you give to others. For yourself, you were wise enough to ask only for love, protection, comfort and to make mission success a priority above all your own wants and needs. You won. In time I hope you see that, for the future unfolds a few words at a time, eventually turning over a new leaf.
There are radio waves around your head all the time, but if you had never seen or heard of a radio you'd call me insane for saying they were there. The same is true of the dark voices and the lone true voice of the light, of love. They're all there and we are all "radios," but some of us have the dial turned way up. All of our ideas come from them, the voices, our role is to choose right from wrong, love from hate, good from evil. We need the intellectual capacity to understand, yet the most important part is a heart loving enough to only tune to the divine voice. Call me crazy if you will, but I know who I hear and He is my eternal friend.
Insanity was my curse, it was the thing I feared above all else. I'm cured. The strange thoughts that once sunk me into new realities with graceful ease, never leaving a trace or a clue they had taken hold, still come and go like they did before. Each is a florid daydream, not viewed like a movie, but lived in first person. I'm always the main character, elevated and heroic, a delusion of grandeur I suppose. I like them that way, it's much better than a mundane life. So if the thoughts still come how is it I say I'm cured? A true delusion is a fixed false belief that gains traction, like a tire on the road, it drives a person in different directions, often erratic and toward disaster. Mine have become more like a glorious ferris wheel, taking me to to new fantastic views of life, but unable to alter my direction or fundamental beliefs. So what once required medications no longer does. The "delusions" are no more than daydreams with extra kick. I'm stone cold sane. In fact, I'll wager I'm safer from insanity than anyone else. Others can still fall, still become lost in the mental maze, but I can't.
In a madhouse, sanity looks crazy. But in truth, conformity is insane.