When you are hurt, I am your sanctuary, your doctor and your medication. I've been where you are. I see your struggles. I can help you to master yourself all the faster, and that is the healing you seek.
The wise ones of any community have a role to play in both healing and preventing hurt. For others can co-regulate their brains with them, see them as role models and learn the kind of wisdom that brings on greater psychological maturation. We need more mentors. There are, to use metaphor, a lot of ships that need to learn how to navigate out of storms and stay out of them. This wisdom could be in person, in music, in television or upon movie screens. We need it though. We need a lot less hurt in society.
When I am hurt, when my emotions are a push and pull - the push when I fear being close, the pull when I fear being alone - I realise that I hurt you too. These are my fears to conquer, yet I need your emotional stability as my safe harbour. You are the mature one, I realise that. I am going to get there though. I will be as mature as you. Then I will become the safe harbour for others in pain, I will be the sanctuary in their storms.
Hurt comes as teacher. Pain is that way. Once we have learned what it has to say we can move on, heal and become stronger, more psychological mature, more able to love with full heart. I've been there... in emotional pain... and it took a process of years to heal from. I needed to learn to love myself, to believe in myself, to have a better sense of self esteem. I'd given all I was to others and for them, the person that I should have been was almost gone. Love is supposed to be symbiotic, not parasitic. Once you find people you fit with you'll see that you both compliment one another and build each other stronger and better. Then that hurt is gone. Then you can focus on the meaning of your life, on what it is you were born to achieve for both others and for yourself. Hurt is temporary. Good things will come. Healing will happen. Look in the mirror and tell yourself this. Tell yourself that you are worth the effort it takes to heal. Make a date with your future self, the one that is so very proud of you. Imagine that bonny day, the hug, the conversation. You'll be okay.
I feel the hurt, but am not the hurt, I am separate from it. I can take a step back this way and imagine a future in which I feel good, one where I feel happy and loved. To hurt is human, to feel such things is proof of how we love. That's alright. But it's also good to think of how you'll make a life without these hurts, how you'll find a place in which your soul has real comfort and peace of mind.
"Love hurts" is the biggest lie out there. Love heals, love makes people whole again and love fills them with the goodness they need to be as kind and loving as their Creator intended. What hurts is betrayal, thoughtlessness, uncaring attitudes and careless gossip. What hurts is people being unfriendly, not welcoming a new person to neighbourhood or making "exclusive" cliques that are defined by who is "not welcome." What hurts is bullying, harassment, selfishness and greed.
Love on the other hand is the greatest gift mankind ever received, a gift that lives on within us all. Love is a gift that needs nurturing - it is the truth within us that knows life cannot be given a price tag. Love knows to be kind and never to hurt or kill. Love knows to treat your neighbour as yourself. Love is what we crave from birth, a craving that must be met by our new and loving earth-bound family. Love knows that a life is worth more than a pair or new shoes or designer makeup. Love is what can save us, make us fully human again and raise us up in the eyes of the Lord.