Joys born of vice should never be held in equivalency with joys born of true virtue or else we create a cerebral short-circuit and confusion reigns; thus the word 'happiness' should belong only to that uplift born of loving goodness.
Happiness comes from a confirmation of worth; without it there is a sense of emptiness within. The young require this confirmation to come from loving and reliable elders, parent figures who embody goodness - empathy, respect, esteem, unconditional love, irreplacabliity, compassion and comfort. One can give this confirmation to the self as confidence and self esteem, yet it is tough to develop this without others affirming your positive self image. Without it we seek to fill the void that exists where confirmation of worth should be; we feel temporarily affirmed by shopping or another commercial experience. If the void is too vast then addictions can take over, attempting to numb the pain. Humans evolved to need tribal appreciation, to have acknowlegement of our worth, and this we feel as happiness.
As flowers open in spring, happiness blooms in emotional warmth.
Emmanuel Kant said, “Happiness is not an ideal of reason but of imagination,” yet for me, happiness is not an ‘ideal,’ nor conjured by imagination, yet is a state of being that thrives when we are at peace within ourselves.
Happiness is in everything; I dare you to invite it in. It is in the rain, cool and fresh, just as deeply as the sunshine, for they bring forth different emotions. Happiness is enjoying the moment, being present for that gift that is living, and allowing it to become intense.
For me, there is something about chopping a home grown vegetable that soothes me to my soul; I listen to the sound as the knife cuts and then the metal meets the wood. I let my hands move slowly in the silence of the room, allowing random birdsong and windy gusts to infuse my mind. The earthy flavours develop an intensity, there is a burst of aroma with each cut and in the quietness within, I am happy.
Other times I burst with life in the joy of movement. I love to dance to vibrant music, loud and strong. I feel my limbs move with the beat, my mind enjoying the heady ride. There is something about cycling in the countryside, with or without music, in any weather, that invigorates me. There is part of this human animal that was born to move. To exert myself feels like freedom, there is pleasure in pushing myself to new levels. Yet to ride slow can be a chance to savour to the flow of the air the finer details of the trees, earth and birds. This is not the mantra to find the good in everything, not quite, for there are times of tragedy, but to enjoy what is good and to learn from the rest.
Pain is a chance to become more empathic, more sensitive to others in pain. Problems are an opportunity to innovate. In isolation we can think and let the creative mind spin new ideas. In unfulfilled expectations we can learn patience and understanding. In grief we can learn to cherish the gift of life each day. We can use our pain and fear to mature the mind and develop the soul. For how can the soul dance if it is hiding in the shadows? Thus, only the brave of heart can know true happiness. So, be bold, my love. Meet life as an equal.
"Happiness is an absence of all negative emotions, my love, and the presence of any positive one; that's why joy comes in so many wonderful flavours. It's also the reason that our commercial world is so miserable and empty; we are all intelligent enough to comprehend that whilst the lure looks like happiness, it is really a terrible imposter fashioned from greed, fear, vanity, sloth and selfishness. It's like at the end of the wizard of oz, when they peek behind the curtain to see a selfish little man peddling a creaking machine, what's seen can't be unseen.
Anything done for pure and positive motivation will fill you with happiness and begin healing, painful though that process can be. It's like waking from a nightmare to find you are really covered in bruises and cut by knives. Yet from this emptying of the negative, listening to the yearning of your own soul to love and nurture, serenity comes, joy comes, laughter comes."
Happiness is a quiet blooming of the soul, one that has learned to love itself and the world, one at peace with its natural connection.
Happiness is in the moment, the more focused the more intense, like a beam of light to the soul. And just as with well focused light, it is then we find better resolution.
James sat back and let the happiness soak right into his bones. He wanted the feeling to still be there when he was old. He closed his eyes and savoured the moment, but never released his grip on the seemingly inconsequential piece of paper and ink in his hands. For the first time in forever his body and mind relaxed. In that moment there were no expectations upon him, no deadlines and no schedules to meet. He was in, he'd made it, he was a winner.
For Carrie happiness is simple. It's hugs with her mama and playing "let's pretend," it's an uplifting story at bedtime and the knowledge that me and her mom have life all taken care of. Food is always available, she has a comfortable bed. She has friends to play with. We walk in the woods and splash in the stream. She doesn't care what the time is unless she's hungry. Sure, she throws a fit when her brain can't understand her world, I'm sure I still do that too. Sometimes she screws her face up and stomps her feet, goes red in the face and waves her hands, but then my tantrums don't look pretty either - not that she ever sees them. I want to learn from her how to be happy again, I want to see the world through her eyes. If you showed her a gold coin or a kitten and asked her to pick one, she'd take the silly cat every time. There's a simple wisdom there and I love it.
The happiness is infectious. It starts as a tingle in my fingers and toes, much like the feeling I have when I'm anxious, but instead of worrisome it's warm. I feel it pass through me like a warm ocean wave, washing away the stress of my day to leave me refreshed inside. As the wave fades I savour the memory of its gentle touch. The feeling is a blissful evocation of time spent with you on the beach. How I loved those days when we walked on the sand and simply talked, laughed and made silly jokes. Those were the days my love, and I enjoyed every minute.