dating app translator - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

Thank you for logging into "Honest Dating."

Please select from the following two options.

I want:

(a) A cheap fling with an elevated risk of venereal disease.
(b) I want a long term monogamous relationships with integrity and fidelity.

Yes, there are only two real options. Don't argue. Pick one. Yes these are the same options as on every other dating website. Yes they are. Don't argue. Pick one. Depending on your answer you will either be directed to the pool of disease group or the clean group. Is that offensive? We don't care. It's honest and scientifically provable.

Once you have selected an option, press continue.

Finally, a dating app translator!

ENM: - polygamy without the hassle of paperwork or any responsibilty.

Poly: See above.

"Just seeing who's out there:" I'm a better disease vector than mosquitos.

"I'm here for a good time not a long time:" See above.

"Let's see how it goes:" See above.

"Looking for new friends:" See above.

FWB: See above.

"I'm not sure what I want yet" is (a) I'm young and still figuring things out. (b) I've worked way to hard in the gym to only date one person (see above).

Short term monogamy: Surely you have the picture by now? If not, see above.

Monogamy and LTR: Alright, this one actually wants a relationship, go for it.