being in denial - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

Sometimes his memory can make me sad, little brothers can get you like nothing else. Max - fiercely loyal and overprotective, like I ever needed that. Me who got leniency from the cops and him who got the full whack of the law every time. But that’s white girls and brown boys for you, equal and separate under the law. I have to stop thinking of him now. The wish for him to be here fills me with such rage and bitterness that I think I will explode. One day I will grieve for him, but first I would have to accept he is really gone - and though I dug his grave myself there’s part of me that holds the memory back. There’s part of me that will never believe he won’t come bouncing around some corner to laugh at me for falling for this elaborate joke.