I'm dreaming of sun soaked patios, of sipping good coffee as I take in a pleasant vista. I find myself in this daydream more and more. My subconscious is asking for a vacation, God knows I've earned that and more. And with it comes a rising sense of apathy that only shocks to the system can override. Yet this is a road to burnout and the longer term wisdom is to take a rest, to find that patio in the sun.
Apathy is a pathway to rest, a self-protective mechanism. There are times when we need such quietness to rediscover our sense of passion. Passion is how we are directed, well, that and curiosity. Then our motor kicks over and we are in drive, apathy forgotten. So perhaps think of it as a transition phase, such as when a car is in neutral. It's a shifting of gears in the brain and body, a chance for better health. So, rest. Rest easy. The world will be all the better for their patience.
Apathy comes when rest is appropriate, it evaporates when body and soul are refuelled and happy. Yet, as a warrior, we often have to push through it for the sake of others and get the job done. It is challenging, very challenging. God chooses the tough ones for this reason. If you are the kind that gets back up after a winding punch, you're in. That's why the road to heaven is hell. It's a choice and a duty. So, if you want to join in, come. If not, stay right there. I'll respect you either way.
Apathy is when your path is in fog, when it feels better to rest and await sunlight, for clarity and a sense of adventure to return to your soles.
This apathy would go all the faster with some warm and loving hugs, with a chance to spend time with a person who loves me as I am. It is the shadow of biological fatigue in brain and body, a resistance to taking more chances of any kind. I am a master at pushing through it, but there comes a time when the battery is actually empty and so are the reserve tanks.
If no loving person is wise enough to tell you to relax, to take a break and rest... eventually apathy comes to do just that.