Both heroes and villains are aggressive; the difference is that the heroes have well developed self control, empathy and the ability to think with logic.
When aggression is combined with deep love we call it passion, their power exists in that perfect combination. Just as with cooking the dish rarely resembles the ingredients, the same is true of these emotions.
Without aggression there would be no passion, nor great art, nor sporting greatness, so we learn to switch it on and off depending on the situation. Good mental health is about being able to switch gears appropriately rather than squashing or eradicating natural traits.
Show me an aggressive person and, with lots of love and empathy, with lots of emotional support, I'll show you a future hero. Bravery needs aggression as much as it needs empathy, logical thought and self control.
In our evolutionary transformation from genocidal ape to empathic humanitarian, it makes sense that aggression is a vital ingredient of passion in all its forms, in all the ways art seeks to bring us to love.
The faux-nobility horse is ridden by the asshole when they are asked for anything they don't want to give. It could be a small piece of affection or understanding. It could be assistance, or a chance to rest. It may be a simple expectation of reciprocity expressed. Instead of empathy out comes anger. Yet the clever asshole knows that this is socially inappropriate when they have been asked for something so reasonable. Thus the faux-nobility horse. They will ride out on some accusation that you are morally in the wrong and they are the noble one. They use this notion of guilt or shame as a social weapon. So start seeing it. See when it is used against you... set yourself free.