a survival show - quotes and descriptions to inspire creative writing

We are going to star in a new survival show, you and me. It’s going to be so cool. We’re gonna have cinnamon buns and coffee and couches of leather. Oh, wait, that’s my normal life. Hmmm, do you have a really exciting life? I mean, hmmm, to compensate for how boring I am you really are going to have to be some kind of terminating machine. Are you? We can give you some killer lines like “I’ll be back.” You can have some really cool sunglasses. Are you sexy though? To be honest, I was alright twenty years ago but, well, all those buns.... So, can you carry this show on your own or not? You don’t look very confident right now.

Maybe we can get some inspiration from some of the shows my kids watch, there’s this one with a hippie and a military guy, so exciting, I’ve already got the format down quite well. First we mention the words “death,” “die” and “kill” as often as possible. Then we remind our audience of death in the intervening moments by mentioning dehydration and starvation. Great right? It really gets my primitive brain going, that's the part our ancestors used to use when they needed to survive - kill that wild boar or attacking big cat and cook it. Awesome!

I was really enjoying the research for our show, thinking like a cave woman, almost ready to go make myself a big spear and hunt raccoons for entertainment when they showed me pictures of the military guy with multiple weapon types in Afghanistan. Then he talked of hunting for a wild boar with the same methods he has used in real life for “insurgents.” That’s when my stomach flipped over. My inner cave woman got put back in her box. “Insurgents” are human beings and to honest I didn't even like the pig being killed. The only reason to have guns like that is to slaughter humans and if you think any different you are kidding yourself. Anyway, God doesn't approve, He told me in no uncertain terms. I still want to do a survival show though, so let's work on another idea.

We won’t glamourize a lifestyle to children that leads to PTSD and men to be six times more vulnerable to suicide than the general population. We won’t make murder and suffering look glamourous. We’ll go somewhere real kids are starving to death and show them how their skin stretches over their ribs and they have no energy. We’ll visit the tiny graves and see the mothers who cry and the mothers who can’t cry anymore. We’ll go to the sweatshops and learn what it takes to survive in hell with masters who beat you and starvation is the prize for bravery and standing up for your rights. We’ll go to places where the pollution is so thick that children who should be healthy are dying of respiratory diseases. Then, for the grand series finale we can take a group of malnourished kids who are destined to die of hunger in abject misery and shoot them in the head. How does that sound? We’d get high ratings right? Make lots of money? Don’t you love money?

What? I’m barbaric? Well, I’d actually be saving them pain wouldn’t I? They don’t need to see the gun. Then we can have the sandwiches in our backpack made with healthy whole-grains, some fruit and a chocolate bar. Sounds great, right? The irony is that our show would be more moral than the ones we actually see. Ours would teach that starvation is barbaric and real. When shooting a kid in the head can be in anyway regarded as an improvement on their current situation that should ignite a fire of righteous anger in you that can’t be extinguished. They are babies. They are dying. I don’t think you understand me. Let me repeat. They are babies. They are dying. Have you got it yet? They live in a survival life or death world and there are no camera crews because no-one can make money from them. Their lives have no monetary value but yours does. You are worth forty dollars to Facebook alone. You can be directed to consume and hand over money, and that is all you are to the elite, a walking wallet...

How about we visit the kids with no cameras or make-up artists? Instead we take doctors, nurses and nutritionists and a crap tonne of the food our society wastes every year? We’ll give out cuddles, we’ll take clothing and get going with basic needs. Then we either get them electricity or we bring them home to our country and look after them there. What? That’s a big job. You’re right, it is. How many people do you think we’ll need? Probably everyone who’s unemployed and good chunk of everyone else. Then the ones we rescue can become rescuers too - a virtuous cycle, Love in action. Oh wait, there’s no money in that.

We can’t just use the food reserves we have unless someone pays for them. We can’t fuel up the jets unless someone pays for them. Oh, hang on, God’s calling. He says "Jesus already paid in full. Fuel up the jets you bastards and get the food aid flowing." He’s tired of all the whiny bullshit and your false "intelligence." All your money system does is keep people who aren’t divorced from their moral compass in a fucking pen of slavery. God says people are to stop taking orders from the elites. Ordinary people are the police, ordinary people are the army, ordinary people drill the oil, ordinary people fly the planes. The wrong fucking people are in charge. They no longer know real from fiction. Don’t be like a pig, scared once and afraid to challenge again, stop watching shit that scares you, stop worshiping celebrities and get real. I’m going to say it again. Babies are dying in pain from starvation and lack of basic sanitation. Babies are dying. Toddlers are dying. Brothers are dying. Sisters are dying. Families are dying. Mothers are dying. Fathers are dying. They are in pain. They are suffering. That’s why you are being distracted twenty four seven by Facebook, twitter, news, movies, adverts, television shows. You are only shown what they think will control you. You owe it to the starving billions to say “Fuck it, I won’t be controlled."